Sun Rise Running11 December, 2011 0 comments
My month has passed in a blur of rowing and ‘living in the gym’ as my knee continued to ‘hold up’ my running , but over the past three weeks I have been building up from 10 minute runs to the triumph of an outdoor downs run a week ago
I saw the sun rise over the sea and the joy of it reunited me with my intrinsic passion and connection to all that is that makes me believe that I was born to run.
This story has shaped my life even though due to my imbalances I often spend months side lined and am a keen advocate of gym work, even getting to the stage of brain washing myself that I actually rather like being in the gym. I enjoy the variety, the warmth, the people, even the television – until I am once more let out and I see the sun rise over the sea, I hear the waves crashing on the pebbles, the wind whistling around the Whitbread Hollow, pushing the clouds hither and thither and the seagulls squawking and swooping. It is then that I see that before I was a wild animal kept in a zoo – getting accustomed to my surroundings – quietening down, a bit adapting to the daily routine, the same fellow gym members, the same time, locker 11 has become my favourite. I see that I had become a bit institutionalize and then once I am free again I become once more the free spirit I recognize and I remember that I was indeed born to run.
I have lost all routine and all training plans and I have even surrendered all goals and, at last it seems, my old pattern of striving too hard. This one I have been seeking to ‘let go’ of for as long as I can remember, ever since I took up the mantle of believing that achieving certain times over certain distances would some how make me immortal and okay.
This pattern has been loosening with the years. My goal is to be able to race as fast as I am able and strive for excellence without a proviso on what that is, but to allow out whatever is within.
This excites me because it requires I get out of the way of myself. To the outside it might look the same, lots of training – I love to train – and running races. But it is the intrinsic feeling that I am experiencing now of running free, in the step, seeing what is…
On Friday I am off to Majorca with my friend Wendy to run a very low key 10k race, so I wanted to check that I was able to actually run 10k a little bit faster than the jogging I have been doing, which has been building up from 10 minute runs to the 5 mile run on the downs
I went to the gym and ran a standard session I might do when fit, but slower. I warmed up for 15 minutes and then ran 8 x 3mins faster, with a jog recovery of 2 minutes
It is safe to say that I have lost some race fitness! But that feels okay.